The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for porn caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, memek she rolled her eyes and crot declared the woman an ‘actrice’, bokep or crot sex worker.

Now, crot according bokeh to this new memek study from the ever-liberal Swedes, bokep it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women porn know bokep memek and bokep all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, crot the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, bokep you can’t measure bokeh passion in terms of decibels: porn there’s sex as performance art, crot and crot sex as genuine intimacy. And memek when a woman is genuinely aroused, bokep trusts memek her partner and bokeh is porn not fearing for bokeh a fragile male ego, bokep she’s far more likely to gently sigh and bokeh bokep moan than bokeh shriek like the rabid super-vixen memek in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, memek female bokep contributors bokep regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, porn they’d explain, bokeh so they could make their partner feel happy, crot while conserving their energy for crot other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and bokep ‘manipulation’, bokeh and porn that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokep so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, memek the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: bokep ‘I’m enjoying memek this, porn but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, memek bokep ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena porn is if your sex education comes from porn, crot where loud always equals better.

As a bokep woman from Sunderland bokep said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling memek drowned out their TVs: porn ‘As far as I’m concerned, bokeh that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, porn only if you want to attract porn a certain kind of attention.

In memek their book, memek Sex At Dawn, bokep Christopher Ryan and memek Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and crot keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokeh I can understand memek the need to advertise. But if you’re bokeh not, bokeh bokep then men should take heed: porn the bokep best sex may just be the quietest.