The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly bokeh that I bokep wondered if I should offer to bokeh perform bokep an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the crot delectable French word for crot caterwauling) to the memek receptionist the next morning, porn she rolled her eyes and memek declared the woman an ‘actrice’, porn or porn sex worker.

Now, bokep memek according to this new study from the crot ever-liberal Swedes, crot it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and bokeh all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, crot the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, porn you can’t measure porn passion in terms of decibels: crot there’s sex as performance art, bokep and crot crot sex as genuine intimacy. And porn crot when a woman is genuinely aroused, porn trusts her partner and porn is not fearing for memek a fragile male ego, crot she’s far more likely to gently sigh and porn moan than shriek like crot the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, crot female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on memek an occasional basis, memek they’d explain, porn so they could make their partner feel happy, bokep while conserving their energy for porn other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from memek the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels memek were all about porn manners and bokeh ‘manipulation’, memek and bokep porn that women porn were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokep so to speak.

A bokeh new porn study confirms the louder the cry of memek ecstasy, bokep the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: bokep ‘I’m porn enjoying this, bokeh but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, porn ladies?

The only other reason to screech porn like a demented hyena is if your bokeh sex education comes from porn, bokep where loud always equals memek better.

As a bokeh woman bokep from Sunderland porn said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: memek ‘As far as I’m porn concerned, crot that’s what you should be bokep doing.’

Well, bokep only bokep if you want memek to porn attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, bokeh Sex At Dawn, crot memek Christopher Ryan and bokeh Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were bokep noisy during crot sex – bokep based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and bokep keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, porn I can understand memek the need to advertise. But if you’re bokeh not, bokep then men should take heed: crot the best sex may memek just be the quietest.

Paris