The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by bokeh a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for bokep caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, crot she rolled her eyes and bokeh declared the woman an ‘actrice’, memek or porn sex worker.

Now, porn according to this new study from the ever-liberal bokep Swedes, memek it all makes scientific bokeh sense. It confirms what most women know porn and crot all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, crot the greater the chance the orgasm bokeh is being faked. In other words, crot you can’t measure passion memek in terms of decibels: bokep there’s sex as performance porn art, bokeh and memek sex as genuine intimacy. And crot when a woman is memek genuinely aroused, crot trusts her partner and bokep crot is not fearing for bokep a fragile male ego, bokeh she’s far more likely to gently sigh and bokeh moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, bokep female bokep contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, bokep they’d explain, bokep so they could make porn their partner feel happy, crot while conserving their energy for bokep other tasks in hand. This bokep was the conclusion bokep of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and memek crot ‘manipulation’, bokeh and memek that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, crot so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokep the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: porn ‘I’m enjoying this, bokeh but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, memek ladies?

memek The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your porn sex education comes from porn, bokeh where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland bokeh said in 2014 after neighbours complained that bokeh her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: crot ‘As far as I’m concerned, bokeh that’s what you memek should be doing.’

Well, bokeh only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, memek Sex At Dawn, porn Christopher Ryan and bokep Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – memek was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and crot crot keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokep I can understand memek the memek need to memek advertise. bokeh But if you’re not, bokeh then men should take heed: memek the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris